Confessing - Erd x Gunther
by Leaonancano
Summary: Gunther wants to tell Erd how he feels. It's not that simple.


It was dark and Gunther was alone. He had been pacing the perimeter of the castle for at least an hour now, stopping every now and then to stand and listen to the night life around him; the occasional cricket chirp or a wolf howling far off in the distance. It would momentarily sooth his racing thoughts, but then his brain would kick back into overdrive and he would be left thinking about tomorrow's mission and Erd. His name and face were at the forefront of his conscience, leaving a burning imprint that managed to show through no matter how hard Gunther willed it away.

Erd and Gunther had been friends and comrades for 4 years now, meeting when they were just fresh faced 15 year olds in the Training Corps, searching for a purpose to pledge their life to. Gunther had immediately took a liking to Erd; the way he would rush head first into combat, never be afraid to speak his mind and very rarely, Gunther would see the gentle side of Erd as a good friend. And maybe that was the reason that now, at 19 years of age, Gunther had well and truly fallen for him.

He admitted that at first, Gunther had pushed these thoughts as far down as possible, burying them under the struggle of survival in this hellish reality and the ever constant battle for humanity. He had willed them away with all his might, even resorting to talk to his sister, Daniella, about them. Embarrassment wasn't the right word for it when he told her, he was utterly mortified as she proceeded to give him as much advice as he could muster without never speaking to her again. He knew she meant well, yet Daniella couldn't handle the simple concept that it wasn't just a case of telling Erd his feelings.

Bringing himself back from his thoughts, Gunther exhaled, letting a cloud of his warm breath mingle with the chilly night air and float off. He hastily stuffed his numb hands into his pockets and proceeded to jog around to the front of the castle to try and warm up a bit before he died of hypothermia. That would be pretty ironic, he laughed inwardly, when tomorrow he was going on a life or death mission. Trying to keep a positive attitude was the only thing Gunther could count on, he always was the optimist. A perfect counterpart to Erd, he thought.

The heavy oak doors that signalled the entrance to Castle Utgard were already partially open, so Gunther pushed them open with his shoulder and draped his cloak over the bannister leading up to the second floor which was engulfed in darkness. Castle Utgard was cold and unforgiving and Gunther hated it with all his heart, he very rarely felt warm inside and he always felt like the long, twisting corridors were set up just to make him get lost purposely. Even after 2 months of being here, he still relied on Erd to help him out whenever he found himself stranded in the middle of the infirmary ward, looking for the bedrooms.

Gunther kicked his boots off at the side of the entrance hall and followed the illuminated corridor down to the kitchen. Gunther had decided he probably wasn't going to sleep tonight even against his better judgement so decided that caffeine at this hour was probably a good idea to stop him from dwelling too much on talking to Erd. He had been contemplating for days up to this mission whether or not he should reveal what he truly felt for Erd, and had stopped himself many times. For one, Gunther didn't even know if Erd was...like that. Gunther himself didn't know he was until he suddenly felt light headed whenever Erd spoke to him or had to make excuses as to not talk to him alone. Gunther hated being like this, he was one of the top soldiers in Levi's squad and here he was wondering whether or not he should confess his attraction to his best friend. It was pathetic.

Entering the kitchen, Gunther started to make some coffee methodically, so used to the methods that he carried out everyday, and then burning his thumb slightly on the boiling water, making him jump back in shock.

"Great," he muttered under his breath, poking at the skin that was already beginning to blister. His clumsiness sure was boding well for tomorrow he thought grimly.

Taking hold of the cup (without the use of his right thumb) he started to make his way to his bedroom where he would no doubt spend the whole night regretting not going to sleep or talking to Erd. And that was when the idea formulated slowly in his mind.

* * *

With his left hand, Gunther apprehensively knocked on the door to Erd's bedroom. He exhaled loudly and ran his now free hand through his hair, a habit he had when he was nervous. No need to worry Gunther, he told himself, this is perfectly normal, you're just going to see if he's fine, nothing weird about that. Yet, no matter how hard he tried to regulate his breathing, his heart still hammered sporadically in his chest.

"Come in," came a quiet voice from the other side of the door. The voice that Gunther could recognise instantly.

Placing his hand on the panel, Gunther pushed open the door to find Erd laying flat on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling; not even bothering to look up to see who it was. The room was all but in darkness except for the moonlight and one lone candle on Erd's bedside table that had nearly burnt all the way down signalling Erd himself had been awake long.

"How are you holding up?" Gunther asked, surprising himself at how calm his voice sounded to his own ears.

A low grunt from Erd was the reply as his hands came up to his face to slowly drag down to his neck, where they lay for an eternity as Gunther swallowed loudly.

"Um, I-I brought you a drink," Gunther half smiled, half choked out as he gestured with his right hand the coffee that was intended for him.

Erd sighed loudly and eventually sat up, his usually neat hair a mess as Gunther walked forward and placed the warm cup into his outstretched hands.

"Thank you," Erd replied, as his hand gently brushed against Gunther's blister as he pulled away, causing the darker haired man to flinch lightly.

And then silence, the two friends sitting in companionable silence as Erd continued to stare imperceptibly at the white ceiling, as if waiting for Gunther to initiate the conversation he was dreading to start. Perched slightly on the edge of Erd's bed, Gunther closed his eyes and began.

"Are you scared for tomorrow?"

There was no reply for a while, and Gunther had to turn to see if Erd was still awake or had fallen asleep. However, his light eyes were still open, focused on him now.

"I'm not scared for myself," Erd began slowly, mulling over the right words to say, "I'm scared for everyone else."

Gunther sighed, this was just like Erd. Always putting others before him. He supposed it was a good trait to be selfless yet it made Gunther worry to no end. Maybe his selflessness would be his downfall one day, he contemplated silently.

"That makes me sound like a coward now, thanks Erd," Gunther responded light heartedly, allowing a small smile to form on his face to which Erd soon mimicked.

"Yeah, but I already knew you were a coward," Erd scoffed sarcastically, his eyes alight with mischief as he sat up once more and pulled his lanky arms above his head and yawned heavily.

Gunther sighed and began speaking again, however he was interrupted by Erd once more allowing his voice to fill the darkening room.

"I'm also afraid to lose friends, and," he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "and, the people I love."

Gunther knew this was a sensitive topic. Erd's family were all but non-existent, his parents dying in the Shiganshina disaster and his only blood relative, his brother, never wanting to speak to him again after joining the Survey Corps. The darker haired man remembered the day he had revealed this information to Gunther, shortly after their graduation from the Training Corps. Erd had berated himself countless times over being weak for pining for his family and that was the only true time Gunther had seen Erd so desperate. And he knew Erd valued his friendships above everything else.

"I understand," Gunther began, casting his brown eyes towards his hands, now picking at the small blister on his thumb, another nervous habit, "I-I don't want to lose friends either."

"No, you don't understand."

"Hm?" Gunther signalled as a response, tilting his head to look at Erd. And that was when he realised Erd's eyes were also cast down at the floor, a steady blush creeping up from his collar to his cheeks.

"I'm afraid to lose you the most," Erd mumbled, almost inaudibly to Gunther as a dumbfounded expression found its place on his face.

"Do-do you mean that?"

It was weird to see Erd like this. The usually tough, level headed soldier now not even looking Gunther in the eyes as he continued to express his feelings aloud.

"I'm, sorry, Gunther. I shouldn't have said anything this is stupid." Erd replied, his cold personality beginning to show itself as he sighed loudly.

And that was when Gunther leaned in closer to Erd's slouched figure, choosing his next words carefully.

"Would it be stupid of me to say I felt the same?"

The room was deathly silent as the words hung in the air between them. Gunther chastised himself internally, why had he said that. This was going to make things infinitely more difficult now, all thanks to Gunther not being able to keep his stupid feelings to himself. Erd would probably laugh it off, and so would Gunther, acting as if this had never happened. God, he was stupid sometimes.

However, when Gunther finally dared to alleviate his downcast eyes, he was surprised to find Erd had gone bright red in the face, a harsh contrast to his pale hair and eyes.

Sucking in a huge breath before beginning, Erd sat up straight and looked straight at Gunther, making him feel insecure.

"Do you mean that?"

"Y-yeah, why wouldn't I?" Gunther responded, a slight shake to his usually calm voice.

And that was when Gunther realised Erd was leaning in closer to him ever so slightly, apprehensively almost, as if testing the waters; asking if he would allow him. And of course, Gunther accepted.

Oh god, the room was so warm all of sudden, and since when had his palms become so sweaty? Rubbing his hands on his legs and pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind, Gunther met Erd halfway between them, his now trembling hands reaching up to entangle in the mess of his blond hair. Gunther had never really had any practice in the kissing department, truth be told, except for when he was younger and Erd had dared him to kiss Auruo, a memory that was still locked tightly away.

Erd's lips were surprisingly warm and soft and felt nice against Gunther's own chapped lips. Following the rhythm that Erd had started, Gunther dared to press into the kiss deeper, maybe this would be a one time thing so he better make the most of it.

Erd sighed appreciatively, reaching to place his hands on Gunther's thighs, not breaking the kiss that was starting to make them both breathless. Gunther didn't think this would work out at all, yet here he was, kissing Erd as if it was planned.

Completely ignoring the feeling that this was his best friend, Gunther confidently ran his tongue along Erd's bottom lip, all whilst running his hands up and down the back of his neck. Erd smiled slightly into the kiss and opened his mouth, allowing Gunther to breathe once more as he continued his ministrations on Erd.

And then Gunther pulled back, his lips swollen and red and Erd's breathing becoming shallow and laboured as the distance between them increased. Gunther's eyes flicked up to find Erd already staring at him intently, opening his mouth to speak.

"We'll be fine tomorrow, right?"

"For sure."

The rest of the night they spent laying silently on Erd's bed, their hands intertwined between them, not needing to speak the words they were thinking.

* * *

"GUNTHER!" Eren shouted maniacally, swinging sideways to try and catch his comrade before he smashed into the tree, ducking and weaving between the trees as the person who they once thought was Levi transformed into the female titan.

But it was too late.

Erd heard the sickening snap and turned quickly, averting his eyes, not wanting to see Gunther's lifeless body, and quickly pushed his emotions down. This was not the time to be sentimental. But oh god, it ate him up inside as he told Eren to continue, to leave Gunther's limp corpse behind. Not even acknowledging his death.

This was too much, this female titan wasn't going to do this and not pay, Erd thought vengeance clouding his vision.

Maybe that's why Erd also met his end in the mouth of the titan, allowing his feelings to take over, wishing he'd told Gunther his feelings sooner.

* * *

"Erd?"


End file.
